Monday, May 7, 2012

You are my sunshine

Today I received a text that said several things but the one thing that stuck with me was the bit that said," Hopefully the sunshine you always talk of will inspire you to change your perspective....."

This has really got me thinking. 

What? Change my perspective to conform to YOUR thinking?

I am a cup half full kind of person.  I do believe in finding the beauty around you, and despite what you face in your life, beauty is to be found.  I profoundly believe in Sunny Mummy and all that the Sisterhood represents. Like-minded women supporting women, to be the best they can be, a gentle reminder to look after their children's mother and keep your face to the sun (no matter what storms appear).  This is an online community that I have had the privilege of meeting several Sunny Mummy's in real life and am proud to call several of them my friends.  Although I have lived my life by similar morals and values my entire life, I wholeheartedly support the ever evolving, very honest, Stacey Sullaphen, for envisaging and creating Sunny Mummy. Stace, to you, xxoo

By being positive, choosing to be happy, finding, owning and claiming my peace, my joy and my hope and 'marching to my own drummer' is being me.  Sometimes I am boisterous, but often quiet. Consistent, practical, logical and responsible. I can be fun, playful and creative. Serious, committed and loyal. Loving, affectionate and kind. I am me and I know how I tick.

To be positive, or 'sunny' does not entail I need to change my perspective.  I do not need to change my disposition nor do I need to be muted or ignore my feelings to conform. To be positive is to keep your eyes open, be tuned into your heart and listen to your gut. Often it means not being all rosy and rainbows but living completely by your truths and not being transient. Knowing there is always a lesson to learn, an opportunity to grow and blossom.

To be yourself, to be kind and to be real - this is my truth.

I am not perfect. I am forever evolving and learning. I am wary(learning from my life's lessons) and have learnt to surround myself with real, positive people. By being real, there are definite times when things aren't rosy.....when we are challenged with health and financial issues, and we are tested time and time again.  These times test our faith, test our love for each other and reveal people's intentions or agendas. We can during these times, learn a lot about ourselves, really put our beliefs to the test. I choose to jump back up, dust myself off, tweak things a little and move forward. Through all this - I try and stay positive, see the beauty and take the challenge on, head-on, to learn and grow. Don't get me wrong, I can still grow weary, get deflated, lose hope(temporarily) and get hurt, then I move on.

By being sunny, this does not mean I need to accept everything that comes my way. By being true - is also finding your voice and standing for what you believe, eliminating the negative, working hard not to enter into gossip or simply being mean. We all have choices, and I believe our behaviours, our words and our body language reflect our hearts.   I choose not to get revengeful, bitter or angry. Pissed off, for sure, I own these feeling, truly feel them, then move forward.

We all have elements in our lives that we love and parts that we do not. We have choices and we are free to disagree or do things differently. We make mistakes which we can learn from.  This is our own life and at the end of the day,  in the quiet of the night, our alone time... we are but with ourselves, then at the end of our days....I believe when we meet our maker and we answer for the path that we have lead, we face the decisions we have made, the love that we have shared ~we take ownership for our own entire life, thoughts, actions and our intentions. We cannot possibly be experts in all elements of each others' lives nor can we predict our own future and all that that entails.

The more I listen to my heart, the more in tune I am with my feelings, my health, my body and the love that I am willing to share.  I choose where to invest my time and energy so I don't rob my family of myself and is fruitful.  As I get older, I have less tolerance for negativity, self righteousness, facades, bitchiness, stupidity and gossip, the blame game or the hard done by story line. I am not interested in trivial issues - I am interested in the REAL issues, the heart issues. We all have a story, Joys and heartaches, triumphs and defeat. It's easy to point the finger and say, 'If only...', it's often harder to look at oneself and take ownership.

Forgiveness is the key. To forgive may not be ,to accept but rather not to carry another's burdens around on our own shoulders. To set ourselves free, to learn and not become bitter or revengeful.  The more we find and live our truth, the more often we are challenged. It would be easy to lie down and often surrender but I choose to be consistent, own my truth, be open to learn and live by love. I may not be there for all of the celebrations of life...but I can assure you, I am here for the big stuff, the 3am call in the middle of the night, the midnight dash to the hospital, to dress your wounds, to walk and talk with you through your panic attack, hold you when you are crying - to listen and to care. I can be found when there is no one else around and you are facing the real, challenging moments.

When I had my first born son, at the time, surrounding me was such adversity, yet I held this beautiful boy in my arms and often found myself admiring his features and mannerisms, singing, 'You are my Sunshine, my only Sunshine....You make me happy when skies are grey........' I was holding this most precious life.

To be 'Sunny' is not always being agreeable, it's not waiting for the clouds to's taking the here and now, drinking in the details, the people, the ambiance and having a thankful heart and mind. It's standing up for what you believe in, protecting the people closest to you and being real. It's not striving for having more, but being grateful for the blessings that surround us. It's keeping the vision in our eyes.

Don't be afraid to be yourself - even when judgment is rampant. 

Shine, baby shine!!

p.s.  and if the sun isn't shining, put on your gumboots and jump in some puddles.

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